Saturday, 10 March 2012



There is a song by a Korean girl group 2NE1 called ‘Ugly’. I am by no means fluent in Hangul, so as a k-pop enthusiast I was happy that the chorus is in English. Although, maybe if I didn’t know the meaning of the words I could hum along ignorant of the depressing message the lyrics convey.

I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I want to be pretty

I want to be pretty

Don’t lie to my face

'Cause I know I’m ugly.

Sunny outlook isn’t it? But it did strike a chord with me the other day and got me thinking. Not because I’m convinced that I’m physically too repulsive to warrant affection but because sometimes I feel a bit gross. I used to feel gross a lot more often as an adolescent.

My secondary school days were unnecessarily dramatic, most of them drenched in the tears of ‘if only I was...’ Mostly I’d wish to be better looking, my grades were decent I was good at generic creative things and I had a few quirky freaks for friends. Overall I was okay. But that wasn’t good enough. I really wanted to be a sexy son of a-

I even now find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that I can’t stop a man in his tracks with a single glance. Dorky film references aside, I think everyone feels this way at some point. We’re all prone to a bout of ‘I’m a piggy’ or ‘I look like a donkey’ etc. Choose your farmyard best.

Women are usually associated with this sort of self loathing but I reckon that we overlook men feeling this way too.

What’s my point? I don’t really know. This is more of a brain fart than anything resembling coherence. It’s interesting trying to root where these problems come from. Of course there are the obvious ones, the media supermodels, actresses and FHM ladies. All of whom have beauty in a different genre. I can’t hate the FHM ladies though. Don’t hate, commiserate...yourself for not having the equipment to make a fortune from your breastesses.

I don’t want t o be a glamour model really. Not great with the centre of attention thing for more than half an hour at a time. I wouldn’t hurt to have a natural perfect pair, wouldn’t hurt a bit. But it’s easier as I get older to love the bits of me that are nice, like my shining personality. I can play the piano, make a mean curry sauce and say very rude things in Spanish!

Apart from stating the obvious that sometimes we hate ourselves. I have to say that it’s alright to be self indulgent, weak, and weepy about really stupid stuff sometimes. No point beating yourself up when you’re a hormonal wreck. Kicking when you’re down benefits no-one! So have your weak bitch moment and then get back on your feet a.s.a.p. Try your best not to drag your friends down with you though. As my friend Miss Emmy says...

‘If you don’t like yourself, do something about it. Don’t bother other people with your insecurities because after a while it gets boring.’

Or words to that affect. So if whatever bothers you isn’t a passing ‘WAAAH!’ moment it might be a problem worth addressing.

In the meantime grab a tub of Activia, a feel good song and dance it off. I don’t like Activia, my dad does. Grab a Peanut Butter Snickers- that’s better.

I don’t have a witty conclusion to this. I guess I’ll just meander through life occasionally wailing,

Just like her I want to be pretty

I want to be pretty!

Goodbye for now!



  1. When listening to a song with foreign lyrics always look up the translation... just saying my girl.

    Anywho, love your posts, post more (and maybe I'll love you more =P)