In need of a shot of Shabby Chic!

I believe everything should be pretty...

That was a line from one of my favourite films, Park Chan Wook’s ‘Sympathy for Lady Vengeance’. I think that film is beautiful, touching, profound but this isn’t about that film. This is about something that’s been bothering me for ages!

I’m so sick of my room being so very full of potential but still being bland as hell. There is no color scheme, no decor theme. I think a girl’s room should be her sanctuary; her own personal paradise. Mine is my own personal preferred space. That’s okay I suppose but I’m not proud of it. By having a clean room, it improves my mood. If I had pretty room as well, that would improve my mood tenfold.

I have images of Cath Kidson prints, shabby chic motifs and Laura Ashley flying all over my dreams, taunting me, enticing me. I really want a pretty girly room. This craving began way, way back when I was watching ‘It Started With a Kiss’ a Taiwanese Drama. Xiang Qin walked into this dream room that Mrs Jiang prepares for her and it’s a dream world of Chiffon and floral print. It hit me like a wall. Since when do I like this kind of stuff? My last room was blood red with kanji on the walls and a massive Shakugan no Shana wall scroll I’d bought from the London Expo.

I decorated it when I was 16 and at the height of my borderline weeaboo phase. I can’t be blamed. I was young. I was reckless. And I maintain it looked more distinctive than my new room. The last room bares the last remnants of this effort to capture the anime side of me. Like the dregs of tea in an abandoned cup, the gunk remains. I need to breathe some life into this room.

It has a lovely fireplace, high ceilings and crème wall paper which makes it a blank canvas. It shouldn’t be too expensive either.

What I know I want now is bedspreads like this...

I think this is adorable. It reminds me of a Doris Day film. I don’t know why.

I want one of these

I want some of these

I want to do the wall art myself so I guess I’ll decide that when I get there...

I hope this works.

Beautiful?

How fascinating the concept of beauty is. I noticed this as I perused through my sisters cast off ASOS magazine which I snatched up like a magpie as soon as she was done with it. In this magazine there were a lot of models all of whom were striking in there own way. A lot of whom were so striking that they couldn't be called pretty in the conventional sense of the word. These women had large dome like foreheads, large gaps in their teeth and sharp, prominent cheek bones.

Being the possessor of a rather large forehead, I was glad of this. I like these odd looking amazons with their stark, awkward grace. They show me that funny looking women can be muses in high fashion. The only down side to this that they are all very slim. I hate the term skinny like I hate the term fat. When someone calls me skinny it brings forth unwanted images like this....

Although to be fair Skeletor is quite ripped, who am I to insult his chisled masculinity?

Nevertheless I can sympathise with the frustration of women who find that the fashion world doesn't really offer them models who they can relate to shape wise. Most of the bodies that saunter down  the runway are of proportions I wouldn't dream of (mostly because my dreams are currently overrun with pastry). A friend and I was discussing the body shape of women, her being a size 18 and me a 8/10. What was interesting is that we were trying to come to terms with what 'normal' women were. Normal is a vague word, what quantifies normal. I suppose the average size of a female in this country would be the obvious answer. That's a size fourteen apparantly.

It would be nice to see rounder bums and softer lines in magazines and on the runway. Whose to say it wouldn't be a nice change. We should still have thin sexy ladies for other thin sexy ladies. We should just have rounder sexy ladies for the other rounder sexy ladies to look up to. There's a particularly repulsive person who seems to be against this.

Now, this is old news but this man upsets me even if his dresses are quite pretty. It's this type of person that makes us, both women and men hate ourselves. Sure, we should be strong enough to say  'screw you' and ignore the negative words of this one, essentially insignificant individual. However, this man has power and influence over models and designers alike. He gets in whatever way to decide what is beautiful and what is ugly.
If someone is a judge on Australia's Next Top Model, they are in a position of power and, no matter how harsh the reality of the fashion world actually is, their messages filter down into the rest of society. Women might feel they need to live up to certain standards.

I know women aren't stupid and they know it isn't their job to look a certain way or way less than a certain amount. But when we are constantly bombarded with images to the contrary, these messages seep in no matter how watertight we think our minds are. To have someone like this man, insulting these amazons so callously could leave the average woman feeling a bit angry.

There's a criticism and then there's just being a prick.

I know the difference, do you?

Spring!

I’m watching the satisfactory denouement of Geordie Shore. It’s silly that it’s gets me thinking about all the endings and beginnings of the days that have passed and will pass. All of the people I’ve been attached to and grown apart from. It’s sad to think of all those friendships and bonds now haunting me like shadows, just memories in the back of my mind. It makes you wonder what the future will bring; romance; heartbreak; tears of laughter; tears of pain- a tattoo perhaps.

Isn’t it exciting? Now that it’s officially spring there are horny birds swirling in clouds above us, everything begins to bloom including our hopes for a great summer. I like spring better than the New Year. There is more of optimism now in spring than in the half assed, hung over promises we make to ourselves at the start of each year. I will lose weight; I will eat better; I will be a Pokémon master.

I don’t want to do that crap again. That was January. This is March; April; May...this is spring. My favourite part of spring, or one of them is being able to take walks through Greenwich Park in a light jacket. The sun sets later so even after a later shift at work it’s possible to enjoy a little bit of extra sunshine. Watching the sunset from that special bench in Greenwich Park is one of my favourite overly romantic pastimes, reading on this bench with a coffee is a great way to build up to it.

Spring is also great because it’s cheaper. The warmer it is, the more enjoyable being outside is and the more we can enjoy galleries and museums.

I’m going to try in the month of April to hit one gallery a week and two markets a month for fruit or cute quirky stuff. After all, London has loads of markets to offer and I’ve only explored Camden, Greenwich and Lewisham. I would love to revisit these markets but I have to try Deptford, Ridley, Roman Road, Brick Lane, Dagenham, East Street and so many more! I can’t wait.

But until then I’ll keep taking my walks, keep doing Zumba, and eating salmon and olive salads.

I hope my friend will join me on these escapades, spring is always more enjoyable when your friends are there to share it with you.

 Bring on the cherry blossoms!

Ugly?

Hello!

There is a song by a Korean girl group 2NE1 called ‘Ugly’. I am by no means fluent in Hangul, so as a k-pop enthusiast I was happy that the chorus is in English. Although, maybe if I didn’t know the meaning of the words I could hum along ignorant of the depressing message the lyrics convey.

I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I want to be pretty

I want to be pretty

Don’t lie to my face

'Cause I know I’m ugly.

Sunny outlook isn’t it? But it did strike a chord with me the other day and got me thinking. Not because I’m convinced that I’m physically too repulsive to warrant affection but because sometimes I feel a bit gross. I used to feel gross a lot more often as an adolescent.

My secondary school days were unnecessarily dramatic, most of them drenched in the tears of ‘if only I was...’ Mostly I’d wish to be better looking, my grades were decent I was good at generic creative things and I had a few quirky freaks for friends. Overall I was okay. But that wasn’t good enough. I really wanted to be a sexy son of a-

I even now find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that I can’t stop a man in his tracks with a single glance. Dorky film references aside, I think everyone feels this way at some point. We’re all prone to a bout of ‘I’m a piggy’ or ‘I look like a donkey’ etc. Choose your farmyard best.

Women are usually associated with this sort of self loathing but I reckon that we overlook men feeling this way too.

What’s my point? I don’t really know. This is more of a brain fart than anything resembling coherence. It’s interesting trying to root where these problems come from. Of course there are the obvious ones, the media supermodels, actresses and FHM ladies. All of whom have beauty in a different genre. I can’t hate the FHM ladies though. Don’t hate, commiserate...yourself for not having the equipment to make a fortune from your breastesses.

I don’t want t o be a glamour model really. Not great with the centre of attention thing for more than half an hour at a time. I wouldn’t hurt to have a natural perfect pair, wouldn’t hurt a bit. But it’s easier as I get older to love the bits of me that are nice, like my shining personality. I can play the piano, make a mean curry sauce and say very rude things in Spanish!

Apart from stating the obvious that sometimes we hate ourselves. I have to say that it’s alright to be self indulgent, weak, and weepy about really stupid stuff sometimes. No point beating yourself up when you’re a hormonal wreck. Kicking when you’re down benefits no-one! So have your weak bitch moment and then get back on your feet a.s.a.p. Try your best not to drag your friends down with you though. As my friend Miss Emmy says...

‘If you don’t like yourself, do something about it. Don’t bother other people with your insecurities because after a while it gets boring.’

Or words to that affect. So if whatever bothers you isn’t a passing ‘WAAAH!’ moment it might be a problem worth addressing.

In the meantime grab a tub of Activia, a feel good song and dance it off. I don’t like Activia, my dad does. Grab a Peanut Butter Snickers- that’s better.

I don’t have a witty conclusion to this. I guess I’ll just meander through life occasionally wailing,

Just like her I want to be pretty

I want to be pretty!

Goodbye for now!

xoxo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGe0hHvAGkc&ob=av2e

Surprise, surprise! The glutton has a wish list. And has decided to share it with the small portion of the world that pays attention. Some of this (ahem most) will be items of clothing or shoes and things but I'll see how it goes. I think I would like to keep my list to eleven items. Why eleven? Because I like the Nostalgia Critic

'The suspense is killing me!' I hear you cry. So away we go.

Item 11- Asleep by Banana Yoshimoto

I have read Kitchen four or five times, in fact I'm reading it right now. I also read 'Amrita' and 'Goodbye Tsugumi'. The way she writes entrances me. She is my favourite author and has been so for the last four years. I hope that 'Asleep' keeps it that way. 

Item 10- A pair of platform high tops!

This may not seem very exciting to you but I'll have you know I saw these in an issue of FRUITS and got all excited about them. I also got rather despondent as everything in FRUITS is sexy as hell but extortionately expensive so woe was me.

9. More Enzymion Moisturizer 

This is part of my daily skincare regime. It's fruity, fresh and in short supply at present. I really recommend this LUSH product to anyone with oily skin. I mentioned it in a previous blog and no, I'm still not over it!

8. WAGAMAMA's White Chocolate and Ginger Cheesecake

I love white chocolate, ginger and cheesecake and these darling, darling people took the initiative to combine these three together. This is my favourite cheesecake ever and I am craving it at the moment. Methinks 'tis time to visit Wagamama's for some deliciousness. Don't judge me Miss Emi and Miss Erika!

7. FOREVER21- Super Sexy Lace Skirt

Holy freakin' crap. I really do think this is a nice skirt. I really like the idea of it with a pair of doc martins and a crop top. That would be a great outfit for a drink out somewhere quirky like Camden or  (when I eventually get there) Brick Lane!

6. Orguss 2 on DVD

It's been so long since I saw this series. It's one of those unsung classics from Manga Entertainment. Seriously it brings back some serious memories. The main problem though is that it's so bloody expensive nowadays. I think it's been discontinued. A worthwhile Mecha series, short but sweet in six episodes if my memory serves. Hopefully I can track down a second hand copy on amazon. 

5. Topshop Daffodil Bralet

This is really pretty. It's unusual that I fall so easy for such a chunky floral print. Usually I like my floral to be petite and a little more understated than this. But I am convinced and I think it's probably a lot more versatile than it looks. I like it...I like it alot.

6. Adorable Panda Cushions! 

How very dare the internet and the Panda shop in Trocadero and the lovely Korean lady who runs the stall in Greenwich Market exploit my weakness and create something so adorable. I've wanted one of these for months now. I'm wondering whether it's about time I gave in to my urges for something cute!

5. Othello Vol 1- Satomi Izekawa

I love this series. I have read up to issue 5 and I really freakin love it. Honestly it's one of the best shoujo manga I have ever read. It's refreshing, funny and tragic in equal measures and leaves you with a warm feeling after every issue. I want Volume One for nostalgic purposes because it's been a little while...


4. Brown Rice Tea

 I am a major tea enthusiast and this tea is up there as one of my favourites. It has a really warm, wheaty aroma. It's great for those peaceful nights with a slice of cake and a good book, movie or game.


3. Jamaican 'Festival' Dumplings

I'm hungry now just thinking about them. These are a made from a sweet dough that is deep fried a lot like the St Lucian or Antiguan 'bakes' that I'm used to but sweeter. They're a fatty treat but a good one.


2.  New Look Stripey Earrings

I just think they're funky. They remind me of T-ara's video for Roly Poly


1. Thirst- Park Chan Wook on DVD

A vampire movie with a difference. Dark, frightening and grimly funny at times from a very capable director of one of my favourite movies 'Sympathy for Lady Vengeance'. 


Wow that took a long time to do! So yeah, there is it. My want list. There won't be another for a little while. It was more effort than I expected compiling it! Fun but exhausting. Until next time!

Voices in Sailor Playsuits

Dear Sailor Playsuit from River Island. You don’t know me very well and yet you know me all too well. You saw me watching you from across the room at your sexy pleats and adorable almost cosplay-esque charm. Damn you. You’ve made me want you  oh so much.

This playsuit has seduced me more successfully than any man. This happens to me because I love shopping and every piece of clothing and every slice of cake I crave adopts this oh-so-sensual voice that convinces me that not only do I desire them but I need them.

‘Oh Tasha, we both know you won’t be happy until I’m yours.’

This voice is one of the most powerful enemies that I have. Even more so because this enemy is the most trusted ally I have. This enemy is myself. The voice of temptation resides in the darker recesses of my psyche and she is one sexy son of a Freudian nightmare. I wish I was as adept in the art of persuasion as the voice in my head. I would have a lot more materially for damn sure.

If the voice was working for, instead of against me, I would have someone get the playsuit for me, then tell me how good I look in it, then go into the kitchen and make me a sandwich. I would be the mother of all pimpettes.

Unfortunately, as much as I have tried to learn from my foe, to imitate it, to manipulate it, all attempts have failed. It’s cruelty goes beyond dwindling away my bank balance. It also dwindles away my confidence. You see, every month we women get an unwanted visitor. It’s a necessary evil because it helps babies to happen. However, this leaves a gap in the defences and the voice changes its tactic.

There are the usual cries resounding ‘Give me cake or die pig!’ there is also a niggling little voice that punishes me.

‘You look a bit bloaty’ or ‘Your skin’s looked better’ are the most common phrases but sometimes it’s a more direct approach that gets beneath my skin.

‘Do some exercise you fat slag!’

So here is only one of a multitude of resolutions for 2012. This one a little late in the running but since it was Chinese New Year, I’m hijacking that occasion to launch a new intention. I’m going to take my evil temptation voice and twist it’s nipples until it works for me. So instead of saying ‘You need this, you can’t live without this.’

It’ll be seducing me in all the right ways.

‘Your hair is crazy shiny right now, bro!’

Instead of making me want to indulge my greed for material possessions, it will be helping me indulge my greed for my own spiritual enrichment. It’ll convince me that I’m awesome without the cake or the new wedges. In fact River Island will be privileged to have me as an advertisement wearing their sexy, sexy jumpsuit because I make it look good not the other way round.

As for the evil bitch voice in my head that says callous things about my eyebrows in the morning, I’m swapping it. It’ll still be as passive-aggressive or aggressive-aggressive as it ever was. But it’ll be screaming at me to jump out of bed and go for a jog. To follow through with plans. To get out of the house and not change my shoes for the third time because I’m going to be late for ‘insert appointment here’.

We have voices in our heads for a reason. To tell us to do the things we need to do. Somewhere along the line I let my voices do what the hell they want. Not anymore. Your voices should be working for you, not for River Island or Gregg’s. Take your voices by the balls, or preferred genitalia. Always remember, you run this mother…not them.
xoxo

Am I not my hair?

Hello,

This entry is solely about hair and self image so if you're like me and shallow read on. If you are looking for a deeply philosophical exploration of any kind, I suggest you skip to the next blog. Or the next entry depending upon when you stumble across this.

I wonder about hair a lot. Perhaps too much. I try to pin it on my current job in fashion retail. Essentially I'm flogging pretty things to people who want to be pretty. But I think my obsession goes further back than that, way into primary school. The issue I wanted to address though, despite being a bit of a non issue, is the issue of natural afro hair.

Why ladies do we shy away from the ever archaic afro? There is nothing wrong with relaxing, texturising or perming your hair. In fact it seems more of an accepted norm for a woman with curly or afro hair to use chemical's to straighten and alter their natural hair, than it is for them to keep it natural. I understand that fashion dictates that straight is great and anything other than straight or wavy is 'frizzy' and should be outlawed. That rule is perfect for those who have naturally straight hair.

Why then do those with the 'frizz' feel the need to conform to these rules as well? Personally, I have stopped relaxing my hair. I have 'gone natural' but I'm not trying to be subversive and militant. Growing my hair out isn't my way of sticking it to the man. I just think it's beautiful the way it grows. Just like that.

I also think it's a shame that there are few people who agree with me. Many women look beautiful with weaves and perms, in fact most of the black and mixed raced sex symbols of this decade wear their hair straight. I think these women are beautiful and should be celebrated.

Nevertheless there are a few women I personally relate more to and who I think are beautiful. One of them is American songstress Janelle Monae whose afro-pompadour hair style is a want for me. Another is the lead singer of the band 'The Noisettes' Shingai Shoniwa who has a really quirky style as well as unique ways of styling natural hair.

However you choose to wear your hair should make you happy. It matters less than most things. But it matters quite a bit to me. For the time being I am proud of my hair as it spirals however erratically out of my head. Maybe in the future I will change my name and my blog- the title no longer being relevant.

Therefore, for the time being I shall remain one of a dying race.

An Afro-Samurai...